Gary's Tractor is rather lovely, Edwards green hair is a mystery, Matt will be able to cast to eventually, Here is a detailed...

 BASS HISTORY

_{THE INCOMPLETE HISTORY OF 3lb BASS}

PART 1:

DIVINE INSPIRATION

The mighty 3lb BASS boys

It all started back in the autumn of 95, the leaves were turning brown and the number of card games known to man had jumped to a staggering 1125.

3 wise lads of totally different body's were minding there own business with a large ball and a stick of wood when all of a sudden a flash of light beamed through the windows and projected the image of a fish. With his vast array of knowledge the boy with the piece of wood jumped in the air and shouted "Its the Bass, the 3lb Bass!".

As this happened a small elf type figure looking a lot like Alan Yates appeared and jumped into the piece of wood, the power of this figure and the Times newspaper from the day before transformed this piece of wood into the "BASS", a weapon so strong that only the 3 rightful ones can hold it.

Fishing Sourcerer Iain
Rodger McGough
Matt Ilie Hudzon

These 3 powerful people with the Bass have turned the world into a better place.

For without them the wheel of time would have stopped moving.

The Word Of 3lb Bass Spreads

Word about the Bass began to spread quickly. The chosen three talking about it and their newly discovered mission in life to anyone who would listen. Many new followers found enlightenment through Iains tales of Lug worms and ZippleR.E.M.

The 'Sign of the 3lb Bass' (see below) emerged as a code for disciples of the Bass to greet each other with.

Despite the initial following that they quickly built up it soon became clear to the Chosen 3 that they needed other ways to spread the Wisdom of their cause. Taking guidance from Alan Yates and Steve Almark (see below) it was decided that the best way to teach others of 3lb Bass was through the gift of song and music.

PART 2:

THE BIRTH OF BASS MUSIC

3lb Bass relax with a game of Bass Cricket

Lack of finance lead to the 3 pioneers of the movement to resort to using traditional instruments in their sound. Other peoples mugs were most useful (But Matt broke them all), as did traffic cones, big screws (!!) and kettles etc. It was during this period that the original 'BASS' evolved from being used merely for cricket to a music instrument itself. Songs such as "Drum 'n' Bass", "Nice 3lb Lah" and the fishing anthem "3 Bass on your shirt" were produced.

The First Gig

The first gig the band played was to a small audience of about 500 at a secondary school in Walmer near Deal, Kent. The band went down a storm as Matt and Migraine boy scared small children with a cover of The KLF's 'Last Train To Trancentral'. Although Fisherman didn't perform he took up the awesome task of providing lighting for this event.

The First Album

Entitled "With a Bit of Bass" the first album by the band went strait onto the local best sellers list. Largely instrumental the music took influences from many local events and of course, actual 3lb Bass.

Lyrics Begin To Dominate

For their second commercial release the Band concentrated on the lyric writing needed to convey the voice of Bass fully. Inspiration scrawlings from Fisherman became the strength behind the success of the special EP "White Horses". But what took the band into the mainstream market was the mighty remix of the bands earlier work they found light in the 3 minute club floor filler "SABS' Bass Remix."

The Second Album

With the new found skill of lyric writing under their belt the band began work on the second album in earnest.

Iains lyrical writing was coming on at a real pace now, the highly political song 'Cant you see' and the beautiful 'They're Heroes' show his talent to its full.

Hudzons drum rhythms were becoming increasingly complex, due possibly to the growing number of pens in his pocket. But it was the development of Matts voice and his melodic versatility that helped make this album such a success.

Probably because of the amount of Anti-Migraine tablets he was taking Rodger's lyrics became increasingly bizarre and artistic. He had also been given a guitar by a Canadian. This would prove to be a major turning point in the future of the band, but first it was time for 3lb Bass to rock Walmer again.

PART 3:

3lb BASS LIVE 'N' LOUD

The appearance of 3lb Bass at the Walmer 6th form Review has gone down in history as one of the greatest moments of the century. As a result many versions of the events have been created. The actual truth went something like this...

Matt & Rodger's performance at the start of the previous years extravaganza had received much critical acclaim and the girls of the 6th form were keen to see this repeated in some way. Kerry asked them to do something again.

500 school kids sat motionless in the dark school hall. It was a cold day outside and tension was sweeping through the building like a weazel in a hammock.

Light filled the stage and Iain walked on. Resplendent in his fishing clothing he set up his box and cast his rod into the audience.

As the opening of 'Last Train To Trancentral' blasted the crowd Matt and Rodger jumped onto the stage like a couple of demented konbin'arvistas. Matt wore a florescent yellow jacket (stolen) and a huge Sitar like instrument build by Rodger on one of his days off. Rodger (dressed in a big black coat) shouted 'Mu Mu!' at the enraptured audience of kids. Iain in brilliant comedy style sat motionless.

Iain in The Wand newspaper 20th September 1996

As the song ended and the crowd wondered if their hearing had been permanently damaged. Then suddenly music started up again.

Rodger had recorded a special track for him and Matt to rap over, detailing the origins of BASS in a kind of RUN DMC style.

But while Matt was rapping along his lines Rodger's mike broke. Leaving Matt to carry the song, Rodger moves to the front of the stage and spends the next 3 minutes shouting '3lb BASS' at the small kids in the front row.

Now neither Matt or Rodger are small and as the lights flashed and the music blared many of the audience were scarred for life. Iain continued to fish.

The music ended again, and the three lads left the stage. safe in the knowledge they had done their job well.

Part 4:

MUSICAL GENIUS AND THE

NEXT ALBUM

Rodger was now rumored to be playing guitar and the musical element of the bands sound now developed accordingly.

Iains lyrics would be put to music by Rodger. Matt would then sing on the recording, his angelic voice forging some kind of intransigent link with the listener.

3lb BASS began the process of recording their 'difficult' 3rd album. And work was slow. With Iain at University chances for the 3 to record material were slim. But what was recorded has been touted as their best work ever.

Using his time away to the full Iain had been composing guitar riffs and chord sequences, as well as his usual pages of lyrics.

Rodger is rumored to be played a lot of BASS on the album and Matt had been sleeping a lot.

An example of one of the musical highpoints of what became a limited edition EP is included here:

MIRROR MASKED MEN.

V1

{Under the moon}
The mirror masked men
their eyes are smiling tonight
her burning mind is alight
They keep on asking why?

Listen this is my word

CH

I see them staring into Space
the man with half a face,
is laughing
he cannot see, he cannot smile

is this the special case?
I don't know, I don't know   x3
is this the special case?

V2

{Under the stars}
living their occasional life
shyling throughout the night
their thoughts are flying high
with the rhythm, the rhythm of the sky

Listen this is my word

Chorus

V3

{Under the happy sun}
seeing all the children play
when time, stands still
this is their glorious day
and all around are smiling
calling their names for love

Listen this is my word

chorus

"Britain is the rock that the sea of revolution pounds"

  Part 5:

THE REBIRTH

THE FALL OF I.M.S. AND THE SPRING REVOLUTION

During this time Rodger had been playing guitar in I.M.S. but they had fallen upon troubled times. After disposing of their latest singers new recruits were needed but not forthcoming. 

Meanwhile Iain had returned from Uni, Matt had been woken from his slumber and 3lb BASS had reconvened.  It became apparent to the Trio that in order to play live they really could do with a drummer, and possibly a new BASSist.  

This resorted in an agreement of a merger between these two vast musical jugernaughts.  The name of I.M.S. and the horrors it stood for was laid to rest as Frank E Chan (BASS) and Magical Andy Bait (Drums) joined forces with 3lb BASS.  

With new impetus the band found a place to rehearse regularly and set about getting enough songs together to allow them to tour and record a new album.  

The new line up of the band made their triumphal return to playing live at Bungie's birthday up The Railway Pub.

In sharp contrast to the lighthearted performance the audience was expecting, the band began with the political anthem 'Leningrad Pier' as Matt beat the crap out of Billy Bubble and Iain purified a communist flag using the power of the BASS.  Most of the songs were new numbers written by the band which eventually got recorded for T:16. 

Despite wearing Deal Pier (which can still be seen up the Railway) Stui proclaimed "Matt should have been smaller, but overall they proved why they are the best band ever to play at Bungies party this year".  

Andy, playing live with the BASS for the first time said that "We had a few technical problems early on.  The power cut out and we lost Frank, but Syanne unfortunately managed to plug him back in".

Celebrities who traveled from all over the country to see the gig included Ken from Putney ('The band were the best, have you seen my girlfriend?'), Weeb from Winchester ("'Deep' is the best song I have ever heard"), Shep from Northampton ("Its fun!") and Jimmy from the cricket club ("I'm actually pleasantly surprised").

After playing through a selection of their new songs the band then finished the evening by getting the crowd going with the now famous "B.A.S.S." chant and a revival of the I.M.S. classic 'The Bungie Song'.

Word of the bands prowess soon spreads and offer of gigs are flooding in. But like seasoned pro's the band are highly selective of where they will play. Eventually they agree to perform at a Birthday bash up Deal Vic Crickets Club.  They play a semi acoustic set with is surprisingly well received by the old people present. This gig is such a success that they are even paid! Wow, Gary will never believe that!

Part 6:

T:16 ( only true history remembers )

Buoyed on by this success the band soon find themselves with bucket fulls of great songs, and talk of a new album can be heard on the wind. Even new addition to the band Frank has even written a few, and Andy comes up with the greatest lyric in the world (Its only one line but it proves to be the backbone of the whole mood).

So after a couple of aborted attempts at recording tracks live the Band begin looking for a producer. Quickly they discover Brian Spencer Smith, who as well as having a great name owns a studio below sea level. Taking this as a sign, 3lb BASS move into the studio in early March 2002 to record the 10 track album T:16 (only true history remembers). For 6 days the band all go to Debs Cafe for a breakfast and then go round Brian's to record. very soon the album is finished. They also throw a bonus track onto the CD, well kind of. The chords and lyrics are in the sleeve so you can just play it yourself.

Brian is an ideal Producer for the band, he drinks tea and doesn't mind the huge collection of empty pop bottles the band manage to gather.

Andy, Frank, Ion, Matt & Rodger in a telephone box

A few months later the 100 copies of the album are put on sale, and soon after that they have all been sold (except for Andys, who is possibly using his to help him reach the sink).

The Album sells for £5 each and is very popular, punters describe its as sounding 'a bit like R.E.M.' or 'a bit like the Scorpions' which is odd.

Here's Bennie!!

Alas just as world domination looks certain Andy and Frank both find that they have to move away from Deal. Frank has a new job, and Andy has to move for legal reasons.  This leaves the band with no drummer and no BASS player.

Fortunately drummers are easy to find and the band find one in Rodgers garden. His name is Ben and he turns out to be very good. He is also a decent bloke and not a nob, this is good, because most drummers are. ( NOT ANDY THOUGH!).

Rodgers agrees to take up BASS for a bit and band rehearsals begin again.

Part 7:

TWO HEADED COW

With Rodger having to play BASS, the boys find it difficult to play a lot of the songs on T:16, so they think laterally and using Iaisn ability to knock out songs like Joaquin Sanchez running down the wing, they create a whole new set.

Initially the plan is to do some live gigs, but instead the boys decide to go an see Brian Spencer Smith again, and get him to produce another album (full details of this period can be read in the diary section of the webpage).

But the album takes a lot longer than expected, mainly because the boys are disorganized.  In-fact 'Lat. 39°29.8'S, Long. 147°19.3'E' takes twice as long to make as T:16, although confusingly it didn't take much longer in the actual studio than the earlier work.

While all this is going on the band make a marvelous discovery in Cameron. For a while Iain has been giving Cam guitars at the cost of 2 pints per hour. Iain decides that after 'feeding him up' it is now time to 'let him go, out into the ocean'. So Cam is recruited as BASS player, and immediately fits in really well. He brings sweets to practice and thinks the band are brill. Quite right Cam.

With Rodger back on guitar the band set about practicing hard and are now tighter than ever. After a couple of private shows they are set to release the new album, and Brian wants to set up some sort of tour.

Brian goes missing again and Christmas turns up, which means beer takes its toll on plans. 

Web site is updated again and Iain is sent out to hunt for a P.A. system on e-bay. This will mean that the band are self sufficiant and can turn up and play anywhere, anyhow, anyhum, which will be great.

CD sales are going ok but lots of copies and a limited access to potential punters mean that they have peaked at around 300 at the moment. But once some gigs get done, this should be set to rise again.

Part 8:

THE VOICE OF HAROLD

Yes its finally true. At last the mighty 3lb BASS found themselves back on the road, which is were they belong. The above picture shows 6 things...

1. Lenny constructed the worlds biggest lighting rig which has become known as 'The Machina'. This sprawling edifice is being used to light up the bands blistering sets.

2. The new PA is nice and loud and lets the boys play where ever they want i.e. wedding aniversarys, childrens talent shows, village halls and even pubs.

3. Iain has had too many cans of Stella and doesnt know which way is forwards/backwards (upwards downwards). Somewhere we will meet.

Here is a report stollen from the news section about what became the bands comeback performance...

That's right folks our beloved band made one of their typically odd performances on Friday in aid of the MACMILLAN CANCER RELIEF charity. The show was held in St Georges hall in Deal, which was pretty much full.  Other acts included Ballet, Tap Dancers, Classical String band thing, Drumming children and more dancers. Our boys went on in the second half after the 'Boy Soprano's'.  As you can see, they were out of place already, add to that the fact that even baby TT Camara was old enough to be most of the other performers dads, and he is only 13.  Most of the audience were 'older than average' and probably had no idea what a rock band sounded like.

The lads took to the stage in a hail of noise as all of Rodgers kit went mental because some child had fallen over and bent one of his leads. This meant Matt had to fill for a bit as Rodger scuttled about and Iain got mad because someone had nicked his big black lead.

'All my jokes are rubbish' said Matt

'Tell em anyway' someone bellowed from the audience.

Unfazed the band erupted into an angered version of 'SOMEHOW (THEY) KNOW (WHO) I AM'. Although the foldbacks weren't working and Matt couldn't hear himself he didn't seem to give a fig as he paraded round the stage waving the Holy Relic that  is THE BASS around his head.  Slowly but surely Lenny's drum kit made its way across the stage like some Leviathan Of Rhythm and Cam danced about.

The audience clapped politely, whooped their approval and threw off their hearing apparatus in equal amounts as the voice of Khrushchev announced the start of 'LENINGRAD PI3R'. During the middle section Matt ran* from the stage into the wings, only to reemerge 31.6 seconds later from the side entrance door of the hall into the thick of the audience, singing the final chorus' through a megaphone to the horror and pleasure of the gathered throng.  Matt took time out to shout specifically at 'some bloke with a big chain', who it turns out was the town mayor.

As Matt made his way back to the stage Rodger and Iain provided a good deal of mess and filth type noise, just incase anybody was still asleep. Then.....

silence. 

stunned silence.

(maybe we over did it we thought)

'Woopie!!!' shouted Len as he jumped from his kit (now 54 degrees west of its starting position) and he waved his little arms around like a girl.

'WOOOPIEE!!!' shouted the audience who then clapped quite a lot.

The boys have recently headlined the first annual ORLANDO FEST which was a great night for all, and played Pfizers social club (a venue which has seen such performers as Jules Holland and Natasha Beddingfield).  Now the band are doing the good pubs in the area, and are soon set to take over the world.

HORAY!! 3lb BASS are very much alive and well as a live act and we are dlooby brilliant.

*walked off less slowly than usual.

---

Check out the BASS NEWS section for latest happenings and the DIARY for latest musical developments.