the C.M.P.

 
 

Inside a toilet. (Not the CMP mind)

 

When you visit DEAL you should try to find the C.M.P. toilet which is situated down South Street where the bus 'station' is.

Its all metal inside and smells horribly.

But the thing is, it doesnt smell like poo...

 

...it smells like Chicken and Mushroom Pie.

 

Kings Of Snake (Rodger and PikaStu) found this out and recently much research has been carried out into finding out why.

 

It seems that in the Middle Ages (about 1078) the area was used for the storage and packing of Mushrooms and of Litchi which had proved very popular with the poeple who lived in 'Peppermint Alley' (now called Stanhope Road). The most famous customer down this road was Monsier Rubicon, who in 1087 invented the 'Rubicon Square', which later became known as the 'Rubicon Cube' (or "Rubix's Cube"). In order to develop the movement of the squares on the cube, Rubicon used the large area down South Street where the buses now park.

He would use farm animals to represent the different colour squares and employed peasents from Ash to move them around and check the possible conitations.

One day this went horrobly wrong as a group of chickens caught a wiff of the Mushroom & Litchi factory. All 16 chickens stormed the factory and ate the fruit (but left the mushrooms, chickens gag on mushrooms), leaving the people of Peppermint alley with no Litchis for food and facing potential starvation. Monsier Rubicon thought quickly and got the factory workers to catch the chickens and make them into pies for the poor.

This tradition continued for over 900 years until 1983 when the Mushroom & Chicken pie factory closed and was replaced by the toilet block.

The smell of Chicken and Mushroom Pie still lingers on in the very soil of the area, fortunatly Litchi have no smell, because if they did, they would probably smell like junk.

 

 
 

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